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هیس !!!!

  هیس.
مادر بزرگ در حالی که با دهان بی دندان، آب نبات قیچی را می مکید ادامه داد :
آره مادر ، ُنه ساله بودم که شوهرم دادند، از مکتب که اومدم ، دیدم خونه مون شلوغه مامانِ خدابیامرزم همون تو هشتی دو تا وشگون ریز، از لپ هام گرفت تا گل بندازه.  تا اومدم گریه کنم گفت : هیس ، خواستگار آمده

خواستگار ، حاج احمد آقا ، خدا بیامرز چهل و دو سالش بود و من ُنه سالم.
گفتم : من از این آقا می ترسم ، دو سال از بابام بزرگتره.
گفتند : هیس ، شکون نداره عروس زیاد حرف بزنه و تو کار، نه بیاره.

حسرت های گذشته را با طعم آب نبات قیچی فرو داد و گفت : کجا بودم مادر ؟ آهان . جونم واست بگه ، اون زمون ها که مثل الان عروسک نبود. بازی ما یه قل دو قل بود و پسرهام الک دو لک و هفت سنگ.  سنگ های یه قل دو قل که از نونوایی حاج ابراهیم آورده بودم را ریختند تو باغچه و
گفتند : تو دیگه داری شوهر می کنی ، زشته این بازی ها
گفتم : آخه ....
گفتند: هیس آدم رو حرف بزرگترش حرف نمی زنه

بعد از عقد ، حاجی خدا بیامرز ، به شوخی منو بغل کرد و نشوند رو طاقچه ،
همه خندیدند ولی من ، ننه خجالت کشیدم.
به مادرم می گفتم : مامان من اینو دوست ندارم
مامانم خدا بیامرز ، گفت: هیس ، دوست داشتن چیه ؟ عادت میکنی

بعد هم مامانت بدنیا اومد، با خاله هات و دایی خدابیامرزت.  بیست و خورده ایم بود که حاجی مرد. یعنی میدونی مادر ، تا اومدم عاشقش بشم ، افتاد و مرد. نه شاه عبدالعظیم با هم رفتیم و نه یه خراسون ، یعنی اون می رفت.
می گفتم : اقا منو نمی بری ؟
می گفت : هیس ، قباحت داره زن هی بره بیرون

می دونی ننه ، عین یه غنچه بودم که گل نشده ، گذاشتنش لای کتاب روزگار و خشکوندنش.

مادر بزرگ ، اشکش را با گوشه چارقدش پاک کرد و گفت:  آخ دلم می خواست عاشقی کنم ولی نشد ننه. اونقده دلم می خواست یه دمپختک را لب رودخونه بخوریم ، نشد. دلم پر می کشید که حاجی بگه دوست دارم ، ولی نگفت
حسرت به دلم موند که روم به دیوار ، بگه عاشقتم ولی نشد که بگه.

گاهی وقتا یواشکی که کسی نبود ، زیر چادر چند تا بشکن می زدم. آی می چسبید، آی می چسبید. دلم لک زده بود واسه یک یه قل دو قل و نون بیار کباب ببر. ولی دست های حاجی قد همه هیکل من بود، اگه میزد حکما باید دو روز می خوابیدم

یکبار گفتم ، آقا میشه فرش بندازیم رو پشت بوم شام بخوریم ؟
گفت : هیس ، دیگه چی با این عهد و عیال ، همینمون مونده که انگشت نما شم

مادر بزرگ به یه جایی اون دور دورا خیره شد و گفت: می دونی ننه ، بچه گی نکردم ، جوونی هم نکردم. یهو پیر شدم ، پیر

پاشو دراز کرد و گفت : آخ ننه ، پاهام خشک شده ، هر چی بود که تموم شد
آخیش خدا عمرت بده ننه. چقدر دوست داشتم کسی حرفمو گوش بده و نگه هیس

به چشمهای تارش نگاه کردم ، حسرت ها را ورق زدم و رسیدم به کودکی اش
هشتی ، وشگون ، یه قل دوقل ، عاشقی و ...

گفتم: مادر جون حالا بشکن بزن ، بزار خالی شی
گفت : حالا دیگه مادر ، حالا که دستام دیگه جون ندارن ؟
انگشتای خشک شده اش رو بهم فشار داد ولی دیگه صدایی نداشتند

خنده تلخی کرد و گفت : آره مادر جون ، اینقدر به همه هیس نگید. بزار حرف بزنن. بزار زندگی کنن. آره مادر هیس نگو ، باشه؟ آدمیزاد از "هیس "
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